4 months

Today is 4 months since my surgery. I've lost 47 pounds -- 7 of those in the past month. I will be so excited to hit 50. I feel really proud that I've made this change and I'm sticking with it. The funny thing is that I've been eating a little bit more non-traditional diet foods, and I think it has helped kick up the weight loss this month. I had McDonald's cheeseburger one night when I was going home late and didn't have any food at home. I had a burger and fries at the movies Friday night. I even had Ben & Jerry's ice-cream one night. BUT, the difference is a cheeseburger vs. Big Mac (and no fries.) At the movies, 1/2 a burger and 1/2 the fries -- not because I was "on a diet" but because I was full and didn't want to eat anymore. I threw away 2/3 of the ice cream -- again because I was full and didn't want anymore. So maybe adding some fat and calories back to my diet is a good thing?

I went shopping twice this week, and it was fun! For the past few years I've been mainly doing online shopping -- ordering stuff, keeping what I liked, returning what I didn't. It was more of a chore than something fun. Twice this week I had extra time on my hands so went shopping, and actually enjoyed it. I bought a gorgeous baby blue soft blazer that I absolutely love (plus 2 shirts and a necklace!).  It is a good feeling knowing that I can browse and not be afraid to try it on and look at myself in the mirror. (I will wear it next time we have dinner, Jen!)

Last night I had an interesting experience that I'm still thinking about. I went to Capital Grille with N, S, and L. I have had tuna here before and it is great, so I was looking forward to it. I asked the waitress if I could get tuna on the Caesar salad, and she said sure. I could have the dinner portion or the bar portion. I ordered the dinner portion, and ate about 1/3. Afterwards, I kept thinking, "why did I order the dinner portion? I know I can't eat that much." I took it home, but I wasn't thinking about taking it home when I ordered it. All I can think was that it was my old brain ordering -- thinking that the smaller portion wouldn't be enough, I wouldn't get enough, I would still be hungry if I ordered the small portion. My new brain gave in to my old brain. But why? Maybe I was focused on the stress with S so wasn't focused on ordering. Maybe I was comparing what everyone else was eating (apps, steak, sides, dessert) to what I was eating. I don't know, but it was really interesting.

The good thing is that I had 1/2 glass of wine, 1/3 tuna steak, a little salad, and I was full. I thought for a few seconds about having part of their app, but I did then realize I wouldn't be able to eat my dinner. I stopped eating when I was full so didn't overeat and make myself sick. And we had a fun time. So, it's all good, just interesting. 

Yay to 4 months.