Today is 4 months since my surgery. I've lost 47 pounds -- 7 of those in the past month. I will be so excited to hit 50. I feel really proud that I've made this change and I'm sticking with it. The funny thing is that I've been eating a little bit more non-traditional diet foods, and I think it has helped kick up the weight loss this month. I had McDonald's cheeseburger one night when I was going home late and didn't have any food at home. I had a burger and fries at the movies Friday night. I even had Ben & Jerry's ice-cream one night. BUT, the difference is a cheeseburger vs. Big Mac (and no fries.) At the movies, 1/2 a burger and 1/2 the fries -- not because I was "on a diet" but because I was full and didn't want to eat anymore. I threw away 2/3 of the ice cream -- again because I was full and didn't want anymore. So maybe adding some fat and calories back to my diet is a good thing?
I went shopping twice this week, and it was fun! For the past few years I've been mainly doing online shopping -- ordering stuff, keeping what I liked, returning what I didn't. It was more of a chore than something fun. Twice this week I had extra time on my hands so went shopping, and actually enjoyed it. I bought a gorgeous baby blue soft blazer that I absolutely love (plus 2 shirts and a necklace!). It is a good feeling knowing that I can browse and not be afraid to try it on and look at myself in the mirror. (I will wear it next time we have dinner, Jen!)
Last night I had an interesting experience that I'm still thinking about. I went to Capital Grille with N, S, and L. I have had tuna here before and it is great, so I was looking forward to it. I asked the waitress if I could get tuna on the Caesar salad, and she said sure. I could have the dinner portion or the bar portion. I ordered the dinner portion, and ate about 1/3. Afterwards, I kept thinking, "why did I order the dinner portion? I know I can't eat that much." I took it home, but I wasn't thinking about taking it home when I ordered it. All I can think was that it was my old brain ordering -- thinking that the smaller portion wouldn't be enough, I wouldn't get enough, I would still be hungry if I ordered the small portion. My new brain gave in to my old brain. But why? Maybe I was focused on the stress with S so wasn't focused on ordering. Maybe I was comparing what everyone else was eating (apps, steak, sides, dessert) to what I was eating. I don't know, but it was really interesting.
The good thing is that I had 1/2 glass of wine, 1/3 tuna steak, a little salad, and I was full. I thought for a few seconds about having part of their app, but I did then realize I wouldn't be able to eat my dinner. I stopped eating when I was full so didn't overeat and make myself sick. And we had a fun time. So, it's all good, just interesting.
Yay to 4 months.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Sunday, September 20, 2015
What not to wear & GwennieBee
My latest problem is what to wear to work.
Lots of people were away in July and August, so I could get by with sundresses, capri pants and tee shirts. But now that it is September and more meetings with donors, I need to be less casual and more professional. I had a meeting at Tufts University with the legal team and planned on wearing my tan linen suit. Well, that morning I went to get dressed and I looked like a little kid playing dress up in their mom's closet.
Fortunately, I had ordered 3 pairs of pants from Talbots 2 weeks ago, so I pulled those out. When the pants arrived in the mail, I tried then on and they were a tinsy bit snug. Not really tight, but just that place where if gained 5 lbs, they would have been too tight. Pre-surgery me would never had kept them. I tend to like clothes on the loose side -- all the better to hide in. And pre-surgery me would always be thinking, "well, if I gain..." I really had to tell myself, "you're not going to gain, you are going to lose, keep the pants." So, I kept them. Having faith in the fact I will keep losing, not gaining, is a complete mind shift. Yay.
So, I grabbed a pair of new pants and put the tan suit in the give-away pile. Guess what? Too big! It seems I am losing my hips. I could fit my hands inside the pants on both sides. Yay. But also Ugh.
These 3 new pants are my only pants in my closet, so I had to wear them. But all day I was like, "Shit, now I can't even wear these pants!" I made it through the week with sundresses, then went shopping yesterday. I had to try on a lot of styles and sizes, but ended up with 2 black and 1 pair. Phew. I have gone down 4 sizes since May 27. Even I can admit that's pretty amazing. :) (Though I don't feel comfortable enough sharing what the sizes are just yet, we will see if I ever get to that point.)
My shirts are also too big. Again, I tend to wear them on the bigger size, and it's hard mentally to feel comfortable going down. But I've gone down 2 sizes, and have had to buy a few shirts to get me through till we I pull out the fall sweaters. I am now wearing bras that are 6 inches smaller than I was wearing in May -- no wonder my shirts are too big!
Jen/Whitney had recommended a website where you basically "rent" clothes -- kind of like Netflix for clothes -- instead of spending money on things I'll probably only wear for 6 weeks. I looked on the site two different times, and just didn't find a lot that I liked. And with the challenge of finding the right fit for my body, I decided to go ahead and spend the money. And all summer stuff is on sale now, so all of the shirts I have bought have been super cheap, and the pants aren't too bad. I also got a couple of dresses on sale.
It seems like every 10-15lbs = the need for a size down, so I think that should take me till end of November. Which also means I am thinking I'll be at 60lbs by end of the year (originally I was thinking 50 by end of 2015, but I feel comfortable saying 60 now.) That means I should be 70 by March 1, which would be great too. (Could be more, but trying not to focus too much on the number, but more on how I feel.)
So how do I feel? I feel good. I have more energy. My allergies are much better (weird, I know.) I'm drinking tons of water, taking my vitamins, doing my weights a few nights a week. Eating is still a challenge -- well, always thinking about food is a challenge. What am I going to eat? What do I need to bring with me? What are they going to have? What do I need to buy? Those are the thoughts that occupy my mind (along with what am I going to wear, but I got that one answered for now.) I still focus primarily on protein, these days I'm eating greek yogurt with added blueberries or raspberries, shashimi, shrimp dumplings steamed, chicken, turkey breast from deli, scrambled eggs, quinoa, shrimp. But I am really trying to eat more veggies (cucumbers, zucchini) and fruit (raspberries and blueberries.) I could do better. :)
Lots of people were away in July and August, so I could get by with sundresses, capri pants and tee shirts. But now that it is September and more meetings with donors, I need to be less casual and more professional. I had a meeting at Tufts University with the legal team and planned on wearing my tan linen suit. Well, that morning I went to get dressed and I looked like a little kid playing dress up in their mom's closet.
Fortunately, I had ordered 3 pairs of pants from Talbots 2 weeks ago, so I pulled those out. When the pants arrived in the mail, I tried then on and they were a tinsy bit snug. Not really tight, but just that place where if gained 5 lbs, they would have been too tight. Pre-surgery me would never had kept them. I tend to like clothes on the loose side -- all the better to hide in. And pre-surgery me would always be thinking, "well, if I gain..." I really had to tell myself, "you're not going to gain, you are going to lose, keep the pants." So, I kept them. Having faith in the fact I will keep losing, not gaining, is a complete mind shift. Yay.
So, I grabbed a pair of new pants and put the tan suit in the give-away pile. Guess what? Too big! It seems I am losing my hips. I could fit my hands inside the pants on both sides. Yay. But also Ugh.
These 3 new pants are my only pants in my closet, so I had to wear them. But all day I was like, "Shit, now I can't even wear these pants!" I made it through the week with sundresses, then went shopping yesterday. I had to try on a lot of styles and sizes, but ended up with 2 black and 1 pair. Phew. I have gone down 4 sizes since May 27. Even I can admit that's pretty amazing. :) (Though I don't feel comfortable enough sharing what the sizes are just yet, we will see if I ever get to that point.)
My shirts are also too big. Again, I tend to wear them on the bigger size, and it's hard mentally to feel comfortable going down. But I've gone down 2 sizes, and have had to buy a few shirts to get me through till we I pull out the fall sweaters. I am now wearing bras that are 6 inches smaller than I was wearing in May -- no wonder my shirts are too big!
Jen/Whitney had recommended a website where you basically "rent" clothes -- kind of like Netflix for clothes -- instead of spending money on things I'll probably only wear for 6 weeks. I looked on the site two different times, and just didn't find a lot that I liked. And with the challenge of finding the right fit for my body, I decided to go ahead and spend the money. And all summer stuff is on sale now, so all of the shirts I have bought have been super cheap, and the pants aren't too bad. I also got a couple of dresses on sale.
It seems like every 10-15lbs = the need for a size down, so I think that should take me till end of November. Which also means I am thinking I'll be at 60lbs by end of the year (originally I was thinking 50 by end of 2015, but I feel comfortable saying 60 now.) That means I should be 70 by March 1, which would be great too. (Could be more, but trying not to focus too much on the number, but more on how I feel.)
So how do I feel? I feel good. I have more energy. My allergies are much better (weird, I know.) I'm drinking tons of water, taking my vitamins, doing my weights a few nights a week. Eating is still a challenge -- well, always thinking about food is a challenge. What am I going to eat? What do I need to bring with me? What are they going to have? What do I need to buy? Those are the thoughts that occupy my mind (along with what am I going to wear, but I got that one answered for now.) I still focus primarily on protein, these days I'm eating greek yogurt with added blueberries or raspberries, shashimi, shrimp dumplings steamed, chicken, turkey breast from deli, scrambled eggs, quinoa, shrimp. But I am really trying to eat more veggies (cucumbers, zucchini) and fruit (raspberries and blueberries.) I could do better. :)
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Maybe I need a fitbit?
I've been wanting to work out for a while... well, not wanting to, but knowing I should, knowing I would feel good if I did, and knowing it would help my weight loss if I did.
I went to the Newton YMCA 2 weeks ago all ready to sign up and use the treadmill, but it was sooo gross I couldn't wait to get out of there. I checked out other local gyms, and had my gym bag all packed and in the back of my car for the week. And there it stayed.
BUT, then I went to the nutritionist last week, and she really encouraged me to do weights instead of cardio. Heck, I can do that! I have weights at home weighing 2 lbs, 5, 6, 8, 10, and 15. Years ago I had a personal trainer who came to my condo and helped me and a neighbor work out, and I still have that workout, so Viola! I'm in business. I did the arm routine tonight, started with 5lbs weights, and it was hard. Not impossible, but hard! Six exercises for arms, plus 150 situps, leg raises, and a few planks. My planks are embarrassingly lame, but that's ok.
My plan is to do arms 2x week and legs 2x week, and always do situps, leg raises, and planks. I'll work to increase planks 10 seconds every week. If I bought a fitbit and increased my walking, that would be a good thing too. I'll put that on the to-do list (though I will not be competing with Jen and Christin!)
The nutritionist also urged me to start eating fruits and veggies. I said I don't need to, I'm not hungry. (And I hate to cook, and I'm not a salad fan. blah blah blah.) She said that as I get able to eat more volume, I am going to want to be eating veggies so I don't eat too many calories and gain weight. Ok, fine. So today I added raspberries to my yogurt. And I had sliced cucumbers with my lunch. And I sautéed zucchini & summer squash last night to eat with my chicken (which I also cooked instead of buying pre-made, thank you very much!!!)
My other project has been switching from summer to fall clothes. I'm donating everything to a homeless shelter which helps women get back to work, so that feels good. Here's one outfit from 3 years ago, and then me in the same outfit last week (before work, so no makeup.) Where did my boobs go?!?! As much as I stress about the number on the scale, photos like this help me know that I am getting smaller. (This outfit is in the give-away pile, obviously.)
I went to the Newton YMCA 2 weeks ago all ready to sign up and use the treadmill, but it was sooo gross I couldn't wait to get out of there. I checked out other local gyms, and had my gym bag all packed and in the back of my car for the week. And there it stayed.
BUT, then I went to the nutritionist last week, and she really encouraged me to do weights instead of cardio. Heck, I can do that! I have weights at home weighing 2 lbs, 5, 6, 8, 10, and 15. Years ago I had a personal trainer who came to my condo and helped me and a neighbor work out, and I still have that workout, so Viola! I'm in business. I did the arm routine tonight, started with 5lbs weights, and it was hard. Not impossible, but hard! Six exercises for arms, plus 150 situps, leg raises, and a few planks. My planks are embarrassingly lame, but that's ok.
My plan is to do arms 2x week and legs 2x week, and always do situps, leg raises, and planks. I'll work to increase planks 10 seconds every week. If I bought a fitbit and increased my walking, that would be a good thing too. I'll put that on the to-do list (though I will not be competing with Jen and Christin!)
The nutritionist also urged me to start eating fruits and veggies. I said I don't need to, I'm not hungry. (And I hate to cook, and I'm not a salad fan. blah blah blah.) She said that as I get able to eat more volume, I am going to want to be eating veggies so I don't eat too many calories and gain weight. Ok, fine. So today I added raspberries to my yogurt. And I had sliced cucumbers with my lunch. And I sautéed zucchini & summer squash last night to eat with my chicken (which I also cooked instead of buying pre-made, thank you very much!!!)
My other project has been switching from summer to fall clothes. I'm donating everything to a homeless shelter which helps women get back to work, so that feels good. Here's one outfit from 3 years ago, and then me in the same outfit last week (before work, so no makeup.) Where did my boobs go?!?! As much as I stress about the number on the scale, photos like this help me know that I am getting smaller. (This outfit is in the give-away pile, obviously.)
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