Changing our story

Last year Deborah and I decided to change our stories.

She got divorced, I had surgery.

We are both doing great, not every day is easy, but we are moving forward.

I have a 2 month check in with my surgeon next week. When I realized this was coming up, my first reaction was, "oh shit, I haven't lost enough. She is going to be disappointed in me. I'm going to feel ashamed. Maybe I should cancel. No, I need to starve myself so I lose more." This went on for about about 30 minutes, then I remembered what MGH said at one of my very first appointments. They don't celebrate numbers. There are no gold stars, rounds of applause. And no shame.

It's not about the number. The weight is coming off. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do. She'll do blood work and measure all kinds of stuff to see how my body is adapting. So there is nothing to worry about, and in fact, I should look forward to it. It's nice to change the weight loss story too from fear and shame to positive and happy! 

Also, Sue told me yesterday I need new pants. The khakis I was wearing are new pants. I'm going to try and stretch till Fall before buying new stuff -- thank goodness for sun dresses that don't look so bad when they are roomy.

Aaaand, I noticed there was enough spare room in my bras for a small child. Pulled out some old bras, 2 sizes smaller, and they fit nice and snug and feel great.

So even if the scale is stuck at 35, my body is getting smaller in other ways. Yay.

I'm still tracking my food everyday, which helps me stay focused. Breakfast was greek yogurt (123 calories, 17g protein), lunch was ground turkey with tomato sauce (150 calories, 21g protein), dinner was steak tip and 5 French fries (200 calories, 10g protein). Snack was turkey jerkey (70 calories, 10g protein), and a chocolate covered frozen yogurt for dessert (170 calories, 6g protein). It amazes me how few calories I eat (about 700) and really don't feel hungry.