Last year Deborah and I decided to change our stories.
She got divorced, I had surgery.
We are both doing great, not every day is easy, but we are moving forward.
I have a 2 month check in with my surgeon next week. When I realized this was coming up, my first reaction was, "oh shit, I haven't lost enough. She is going to be disappointed in me. I'm going to feel ashamed. Maybe I should cancel. No, I need to starve myself so I lose more." This went on for about about 30 minutes, then I remembered what MGH said at one of my very first appointments. They don't celebrate numbers. There are no gold stars, rounds of applause. And no shame.
It's not about the number. The weight is coming off. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do. She'll do blood work and measure all kinds of stuff to see how my body is adapting. So there is nothing to worry about, and in fact, I should look forward to it. It's nice to change the weight loss story too from fear and shame to positive and happy!
Also, Sue told me yesterday I need new pants. The khakis I was wearing are new pants. I'm going to try and stretch till Fall before buying new stuff -- thank goodness for sun dresses that don't look so bad when they are roomy.
Aaaand, I noticed there was enough spare room in my bras for a small child. Pulled out some old bras, 2 sizes smaller, and they fit nice and snug and feel great.
So even if the scale is stuck at 35, my body is getting smaller in other ways. Yay.
I'm still tracking my food everyday, which helps me stay focused. Breakfast was greek yogurt (123 calories, 17g protein), lunch was ground turkey with tomato sauce (150 calories, 21g protein), dinner was steak tip and 5 French fries (200 calories, 10g protein). Snack was turkey jerkey (70 calories, 10g protein), and a chocolate covered frozen yogurt for dessert (170 calories, 6g protein). It amazes me how few calories I eat (about 700) and really don't feel hungry.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Jinx
I think I jinxed myself with my last post.
I haven't lost any weight all week.
I am sick of thinking about food. I am sick of all the food I have been eating.
I made broccoli tater tots to help me get veggies in ... blech.
I made a tomato/chick pea/feta cheese dinner that I ate a lot this winter and LOVED...after 2 servings it lost its appeal.
After getting sick on salmon a few weeks, that's out. Ditto on some previously yummy sesame tofu.
Shashimi is still good but kinda getting old.
Scrambled eggs are ok, but all that cottage cheese I bought is still in the frig.
So suddenly this isn't feeling very easy!
Today I had chocolate milk for breakfast ( 4g of protein and 104 calories) and plain greek yogurt (17g of protein and 128 calories.) Lunch was a few slices of deli chicken breast and a slice of cheese (11g of protein, 120 calories) and a few shrimp dumplings (4g of protein and 45 calories per dumpling). Dinner was Lime Chicken from Whole Foods (21g of protein and 120 calories) and some pea pods, onion and tomato salad. So I guess it was a good day, just feel bored with food and not really interested in anything different.
One positive thing is that I've figured out that I need to order just an appetizer when going out for dinner. Ordering a full meal, eating 1/4 and taking the rest home isn't that great, considering 1/2 of a meal is carbs that I don't really eat anyway. I had cheese quesadilla app one night over the weekend, ate 2 and Liam ate 2, so that worked out.
Another good thing is that I have no desire to drink alcohol. Wine just doesn't appeal to me. Although... I was in Salem over the weekend, walking around and was hot, and it did occur to me that a nice cold beer might have been tasty. But we got ice-cream instead. Even ordering a small ice-cream I have to throw 1/2 of it away right at the beginning.
I do have some chicken recipes pinned on Pinterest, I guess maybe I'll try to make some chicken this weekend.
I haven't lost any weight all week.
I am sick of thinking about food. I am sick of all the food I have been eating.
I made broccoli tater tots to help me get veggies in ... blech.
I made a tomato/chick pea/feta cheese dinner that I ate a lot this winter and LOVED...after 2 servings it lost its appeal.
After getting sick on salmon a few weeks, that's out. Ditto on some previously yummy sesame tofu.
Shashimi is still good but kinda getting old.
Scrambled eggs are ok, but all that cottage cheese I bought is still in the frig.
So suddenly this isn't feeling very easy!
Today I had chocolate milk for breakfast ( 4g of protein and 104 calories) and plain greek yogurt (17g of protein and 128 calories.) Lunch was a few slices of deli chicken breast and a slice of cheese (11g of protein, 120 calories) and a few shrimp dumplings (4g of protein and 45 calories per dumpling). Dinner was Lime Chicken from Whole Foods (21g of protein and 120 calories) and some pea pods, onion and tomato salad. So I guess it was a good day, just feel bored with food and not really interested in anything different.
One positive thing is that I've figured out that I need to order just an appetizer when going out for dinner. Ordering a full meal, eating 1/4 and taking the rest home isn't that great, considering 1/2 of a meal is carbs that I don't really eat anyway. I had cheese quesadilla app one night over the weekend, ate 2 and Liam ate 2, so that worked out.
Another good thing is that I have no desire to drink alcohol. Wine just doesn't appeal to me. Although... I was in Salem over the weekend, walking around and was hot, and it did occur to me that a nice cold beer might have been tasty. But we got ice-cream instead. Even ordering a small ice-cream I have to throw 1/2 of it away right at the beginning.
I do have some chicken recipes pinned on Pinterest, I guess maybe I'll try to make some chicken this weekend.
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Too easy?
I feel like this is too easy. Losing weight is supposed to be hard.
I should be starving. I should be losing .5lbs a week. I should be miserable.
Instead, I eat when I am hungry. I lost 2 lbs since Friday. I have even had ice-cream. I'm pretty happy!
I thought it would be smart for me to document what I'm eating and how I'm feeling, in case I need to look back on this in a few weeks/months when I hit a plateau and life isn't so rosy. So, here's what I'm eating:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup chocolate milk, 1/2 cup whole milk. 4g of protein, 180 calories.
Slice of mozzarella cheese, slice of tomato, balsamic vinegar. 8 g of protein, 80 calories.
Lunch: Egg salad made from 2 eggs, with mayo. 12 g protein, 170 calories.
Snack: Watermelon.
Dinner: Ground turkey with tomato sauce & grated cheese. 28 g protein. 250 calories.
Snack: Yasso frozen yogurt popsicle. 6 g protein. 80 calories.
So I ended the day with 62 g of protein, 800 calories. I could have eaten a little something more as a snack after breakfast but I had a busy day. I need to buy more greek yogurt, it is really good AND has 20g of protein! I could have more fruits and veggies, too. I haven't really figured out how to work those in yet. Though I did order a mini-cupcake tin so I can make broccoli tater tots.
I said this is easy, and in some ways it is. The hard thing, though, is that I am ALWAYS thinking about food -- what food I should take with me, what food I need to buy (see yogurt above), what I need to cook for tomorrow (need to hard boil some eggs to have the whites as snack). It's not even like I think about what to eat all the time, it is the shopping/planning/preparing. I used to just wait till I was hungry, then think, "hmm, what do I feel like eating? what is easy?" and then order something or go out.
On Friday I went to Walden Pond with Deborah and brought cooked shrimp, turkey jerky (need more), watermelon and cole slaw. I went to the beach with Sue, Nancy and Liam on Sunday. I brought 6 hard boiled eggs, a bunch of cooked shrimp, cheese stick, and smartfood popcorn for a snack. Then when I got home I cooked ground turkey and mixed it with tomato sauce and stored for the week. Made a chick pea, tomato sauce mixture from Deborah that is served with a poached egg and feta cheese. Very yummy. And made egg salad.
This is the person who ate Stouffer's frozen spinach soufflé every day for lunch for 3 months because it was easy. I guess there are different types of easy!
I should be starving. I should be losing .5lbs a week. I should be miserable.
Instead, I eat when I am hungry. I lost 2 lbs since Friday. I have even had ice-cream. I'm pretty happy!
I thought it would be smart for me to document what I'm eating and how I'm feeling, in case I need to look back on this in a few weeks/months when I hit a plateau and life isn't so rosy. So, here's what I'm eating:
Breakfast: 1/2 cup chocolate milk, 1/2 cup whole milk. 4g of protein, 180 calories.
Slice of mozzarella cheese, slice of tomato, balsamic vinegar. 8 g of protein, 80 calories.
Lunch: Egg salad made from 2 eggs, with mayo. 12 g protein, 170 calories.
Snack: Watermelon.
Dinner: Ground turkey with tomato sauce & grated cheese. 28 g protein. 250 calories.
Snack: Yasso frozen yogurt popsicle. 6 g protein. 80 calories.
So I ended the day with 62 g of protein, 800 calories. I could have eaten a little something more as a snack after breakfast but I had a busy day. I need to buy more greek yogurt, it is really good AND has 20g of protein! I could have more fruits and veggies, too. I haven't really figured out how to work those in yet. Though I did order a mini-cupcake tin so I can make broccoli tater tots.
I said this is easy, and in some ways it is. The hard thing, though, is that I am ALWAYS thinking about food -- what food I should take with me, what food I need to buy (see yogurt above), what I need to cook for tomorrow (need to hard boil some eggs to have the whites as snack). It's not even like I think about what to eat all the time, it is the shopping/planning/preparing. I used to just wait till I was hungry, then think, "hmm, what do I feel like eating? what is easy?" and then order something or go out.
On Friday I went to Walden Pond with Deborah and brought cooked shrimp, turkey jerky (need more), watermelon and cole slaw. I went to the beach with Sue, Nancy and Liam on Sunday. I brought 6 hard boiled eggs, a bunch of cooked shrimp, cheese stick, and smartfood popcorn for a snack. Then when I got home I cooked ground turkey and mixed it with tomato sauce and stored for the week. Made a chick pea, tomato sauce mixture from Deborah that is served with a poached egg and feta cheese. Very yummy. And made egg salad.
This is the person who ate Stouffer's frozen spinach soufflé every day for lunch for 3 months because it was easy. I guess there are different types of easy!
Friday, July 3, 2015
6 bags of sugar
Grace reminded me this week that a bag of sugar weighs 5 pounds. In 38 days I've lost 6 bags of sugar -- 30lbs!
Funny how I was stalled for a week or so, then had a really good week of weight loss. I liked this week better than that stall week.
So what's the trick? water. protein. exercise. and a little cheat here or there! Seriously, last Saturday I walked to Natick farmer's market with Marisa and her boys. Cheese is one the proteins that I eat a lot of, and we went to a bakery to buy the boys cookies, and there was a cheese danish with my name on it. I tried to resist but gave in. I ate the cheese part, threw away the danish around the edges, though I'm sure I had more calories and sugar than I should have. It was SO GOOD. The next day I was down a pound.
I think the lesson is for me to drink water, eat protein, get exercise -- and allow a slip here or there. I'm not going to have a cheese danish every day, but an occasional slip might be a good thing, mentally and for my body.
It's been a good week. I wore a nice blue sweater and white linen pants to work yesterday that I haven't worn in 4 or 5 years. Another day I wore a summer sweater that I like and is 1 year old, and it was swimming on me so I threw it away when I got home! That felt good. Goodbye big sweater.
That's one challenge -- what to do with the clothes I outgrow? Not that I know anyone who I could give them to if I wanted to, because the clothes are too big, but even if I did, how insulting would it be to try and give someone my old fat clothes! I guess I'll start a bag of things to donate rather than throwing things away.
My ultimate would be fitting into the suit I wore to Sue's wedding 14 years ago. I'm not even sure it is possible, I was working at LMI then and at my lowest weight, but I absolutely loved the suit! It is periwinkle blue, Talbots, sleeveless shift dress with matching short jacket. There are a lot of clothes I had then that I loved (a dress that looked like watercolors, I wore it to Sandy's wedding when Jen, Stacey, Bill and I had the best glass of wine ever at the Boston Park Plaza.)
If things keep going the way they are, I'm going to need all new clothes this fall, so will need to get a whole new wardrobe. What fun!
I spend a LOT of time shopping and planning food. I probably need to start cooking more. I pretty much go to Whole Foods every other day and get sushi or tofu or chicken. Oh, this week I discovered turkey bacon, turkey jerky, and turkey pepperoni. Anything I can keep with me and eat when I get hungry (like the jerky and pepperoni) comes in handy. Add in a cheese stick and it's a very yummy snack. Scrambled eggs with bits of bacon is good too.
Funny how I was stalled for a week or so, then had a really good week of weight loss. I liked this week better than that stall week.
So what's the trick? water. protein. exercise. and a little cheat here or there! Seriously, last Saturday I walked to Natick farmer's market with Marisa and her boys. Cheese is one the proteins that I eat a lot of, and we went to a bakery to buy the boys cookies, and there was a cheese danish with my name on it. I tried to resist but gave in. I ate the cheese part, threw away the danish around the edges, though I'm sure I had more calories and sugar than I should have. It was SO GOOD. The next day I was down a pound.
I think the lesson is for me to drink water, eat protein, get exercise -- and allow a slip here or there. I'm not going to have a cheese danish every day, but an occasional slip might be a good thing, mentally and for my body.
It's been a good week. I wore a nice blue sweater and white linen pants to work yesterday that I haven't worn in 4 or 5 years. Another day I wore a summer sweater that I like and is 1 year old, and it was swimming on me so I threw it away when I got home! That felt good. Goodbye big sweater.
That's one challenge -- what to do with the clothes I outgrow? Not that I know anyone who I could give them to if I wanted to, because the clothes are too big, but even if I did, how insulting would it be to try and give someone my old fat clothes! I guess I'll start a bag of things to donate rather than throwing things away.
My ultimate would be fitting into the suit I wore to Sue's wedding 14 years ago. I'm not even sure it is possible, I was working at LMI then and at my lowest weight, but I absolutely loved the suit! It is periwinkle blue, Talbots, sleeveless shift dress with matching short jacket. There are a lot of clothes I had then that I loved (a dress that looked like watercolors, I wore it to Sandy's wedding when Jen, Stacey, Bill and I had the best glass of wine ever at the Boston Park Plaza.)
If things keep going the way they are, I'm going to need all new clothes this fall, so will need to get a whole new wardrobe. What fun!
I spend a LOT of time shopping and planning food. I probably need to start cooking more. I pretty much go to Whole Foods every other day and get sushi or tofu or chicken. Oh, this week I discovered turkey bacon, turkey jerky, and turkey pepperoni. Anything I can keep with me and eat when I get hungry (like the jerky and pepperoni) comes in handy. Add in a cheese stick and it's a very yummy snack. Scrambled eggs with bits of bacon is good too.
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